Face Down
by loveisfreedom
Summary: She walks around with her face down because even she is ashamed of who she has become.    More detailed summary inside. Rated T for adult situations and language. May be upgraded to M.
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world came out of J.K Rowling's mind. Not mine. Unfortunately.**

**Face Down**

He thrust into her angrily one more time before pulling out. She had nasty bluish purple bruises forming on her body and fading yellowish ones from previous visits. She had terrible cuts and scars from previous occasions when he was

feeling particularly frustrated. And as she watched the man pull back on his clothes and leave without saying a word, she let the tears flow down her face, unashamed. The reason why you ask? Well isn't it obvious? Alyssa Grace Swanson is completely and hopelessly in love with the savior of the Wizarding world, Harry James Potter, but he isn't there for her anymore. Now she just wants to feel something and is willing to do _a__nything_ to get that.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to be the golden couple, the ones that stayed strong through school and the adult years, the ones that got married first and the ones who strengthened their friends who were on the verge of divorce. They were supposed to grow old together so what went wrong? She guesses it started with _her_. She knows it's understandable. _She_ was his best friend's little sister and he spent almost every summer at their house. Plus Harry did save _her_ from the Chamber of Secrets. _She_ was always there but Alyssa never expected it to take off. He was always there for Aly and he never showed much interest in _her_. That is, until 6th year.

_**Alyssa's Flashback**_

_It was the final quidditch match of the season and it determined who won the house cup, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. And guess who had gone and gotten himself detention with Snape? The seeker of Gryffindor and my incredibly infuriating, yet impossibly adorable no matter what he does, boyfriend, Harry Potter. Yet for weeks he seemed to be distancing himself from me and no looking back I realize every time he looked at Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas, his eyes would grow darker and his face would flush ever so slightly. I passed it off but I regret it terribly now. _

_The day was perfect for a match but the tension in the air for the Gryffindors due to our missing seeker. However, Ginny Weasley was playing his position and I know she is an excellent player. The game was teeth grinding but in the end but Ginny caught the snitch and Gryffindor won by 310 points! We celebrated loudly and obnoxiously all the way back to the common room and we threw a huge party when we arrived. Streamers and sparks of scarlet and gold flooded the room and yells of excitement erupted from everyone, even Hermione._

_I was laughing and singing and chanting along with all of my house mates. But I was also watching the portrait hole waiting for Harry's return. We would celebrate for a little while before heading down to the lake under his invisibility cloak and have a picnic by the moonlight. It is our 2 year anniversary and the lake is where we were when we got together two years ago. The lake has a special meaning for us as well. It was the first place we actually met. After about an hour of celebrating, the party was still going strong and in stepped the chosen one. I ran to greet him. "WE WON!" I yelled as I threw my arms around him. "We won! Four hundred and fifty to a hundred and forty! We won!" I kissed his cheek and pulled back to look in his eyes. But he wasn't looking at me. Harry was gazing ahead at the redheaded beauty and hero of the moment. He pushed me aside and walked straight for her and she ran into his arms. She hugged him tightly but he pushed her way. I hoped that was it but he leaned in and kissed her._

_He kissed her in front of every Gryffindor. The room fell silent as they embraced each other. All eyes came to rest upon me as my heart shattered and I pushed through the crowd to run to my dormitory. "ALYSSA!" I heard Hermione and Charlie yelling after me but it wasn't their voices I wanted to hear. As I reached the top of the stairs and pushed the door open to the dorm, I looked over the common room and saw Harry and Ginny still immersed in a not so appropriate kiss. The tears never stopped flowing._

_**End of flashback**_

That was the last time she talked to him. Hermione and Ron tried to get them to be friends again but it just couldn't happen. It hurt her too much because Harry and Ginny were always together. Eventually, Alyssa drifted away from Hermione and Ron as well. After all, they were the golden trio and she never really belonged anyways. Charlotte, her best friend, was all Alyssa had but Charlie remained friends with the others. She was always more sociable and outgoing than Aly anyways. And then Professor Dumbledore died. And Harry and Hermione and Ron had to go off and destroy Voldemort, and Alyssa's father had to go into hiding because he was muggleborn. Charlie was muggleborn as well and Aly didn't see her again after sixth year. Alyssa and her mother and brother had to put every protection on house, even the fidelius charm, because her mother was a blood traitor from France. Alyssa remained at home and didn't go to school. The news of her father's death reached the Swansons around February and her mother died shortly after from a broken heart, leaving Alyssa's 21 year old brother, Darren, in care of her.

It was hard to get by. Her brother would have sneak out every other month and stock up on food and it was always so risky. He never let Alyssa go and she would worry until his return, which sometimes took days. She never received any news of Charlie's location either. Every day Alyssa prayed for the war to be over, she needed Harry to win. She listened to Potterwatch regularly and was constantly worried of what happened to him. She blamed it on wanting Voldemort gone, but deep down she knew that she still loved him with all of her heart and she prayed daily that he was safe, as were Ron and Hermione. And then the news of the Hogwarts Battle reached her and her brother and Darren told her to stay put and quickly apparated to Hogesmeade. She was screaming after him as he rushed out but he ignored her. Alyssa knew there was no way she was staying there while the final battle was taking place. She couldn't just not do anything! Voldemort was the reason why her parents were dead and she would be damned if she didn't help.

Alyssa apparated to Hogesmeade and saw red and green light flashing all around the castle. She ran as fast as she could and as soon as she passed the gates of the castle she was in battle. Spells were flying all around her head. Alyssa tripped once trying to escape and twisted her ankle but she kept pushing on. "Crucio!" someone screamed at her. The pain was excruciating and like nothing she had ever felt. A man let out a mad cackle. She believed his name was Macnair and he was a vicious death eater. She quickly scrambled to her feet and yelled "Stupefy!" but he gracefully dodged it. "Avada Kedavra!" She closed her eyes and waited for her death because she knew there was no way of escaping. The end was near.

"ALYSSA! NO!" she heard as her brother pushed her out of the way. She opened her eyes to see her brother fall to the ground, his eyes open but unseeing and an expression of fear on his face. "DARREN! No, no, no, no! You can't be dead, please don't be dead! Please I need you!" Alyssa cried with tears pouring down her face, shaking her brother's lifeless body. She knew in that moment she was alone. Then Alyssa heard the voice of the dark lord.

"_**Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."**_

It was over. Her family was gone and so was her last chance of love. Voldemort had won and the Wizarding world would fall. There was a chorus of "NO!"'s that resounded throughout the grounds. And Alyssa's heart, if possible, split even more. There he was, the boy who haunted my dreams, lying limp in Hagrid's arms. She fell to her knees. Then Neville Longbottom screamed in rage and rebelled against the dark wizard and almost was killed but then something miraculous happened. Out of the hat that was smothering Neville came the sword with the ruby hilted handle, the sword of Godric Gryffindor and with one fluid movement the snake, Nagini's, head flew off and Alyssa saw Harry pull out his cloak of invisibility and disappear. He was ALIVE! He faked it but why?

The rest of the night happened in a blur. Death Eaters flew to the left and right. She saw the bodies of friends and professors like Fred Weasley and Remus Lupin. Then the moment arrived for the last battle of the night, Harry Potter versus Lord Voldemort. The Great Hall was silent and a battle of words erupted. And then it was over. The face of the darkest wizard shriveled and he fell and Harry captured his wand. The hall erupted into cheers and the crowd swarmed Harry. Alyssa glanced at him and they locked eyes. He seemed to try and come over and talk to her but he changed his mind for he disappeared after talking with Luna.

She walked out to the grounds and located her brother's body. He was still laying there and she closed his eyes to give him a peaceful appearance. Alyssa fell to her knees and hugged him and apparated back home. She arranged his funeral and laid him to rest with their mother. She sold the family mansion and traveled to France. Alyssa has lived in a small town south of Paris, called Gargilesse Dampierre ever since the battle. Charlie is the only person who she kept in contact with after school. Charlie is her best friend after all. She came back to England 2 weeks after the fall of the Dark Lord. Charlie had gone home to America, to say goodbye to her family, and then fled to Africa and remained hidden deep within the continent. She returned home to find Alyssa in ruins and helped her lay her brother to rest. She's been there with Alyssa through everything but Aly can tell Charlie is fed up with how she lives her lifestyle. Alyssa is constantly in an abusive relationship just trying to find warmth and comfort but it doesn't make a difference. There is only one man out there for her. And he hasn't spoken or thought of her in 4 years.

And did she mention he's getting married?

Author's Note:

Hi Guys! So this is the first fanfic i've ever posted! I hope you enjoy it! This chapter was mainly a set up for the rest of the story so it will get more intense as the story goes on.I won't be posting more until i get enough reviews so please review if you enjoyed it and want more... I think that's about it! Thanks! :D

~Loren


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am not blonde nor am I British so obviously the world of Harry Potter and Co. is not mine. Unfortunately.

Chapter 1-

Charlotte Mae Turner was beyond furious.

She was livid. And this did not happen often. She was a very level headed girl from a simple town. She grew up in Cordele, a town in South Georgia. The city itself is pretty large but everyone who lives there lives a simple life style. It is a huge agricultural city. You can't go two miles without seeing a tractor plowing the land. Charlotte grew up on a farm and has been working since she was 6. She loves to paint as well and it is the only fine art she was gifted with (Do not ask her to sing until they have invented ear drum bandages). She is the eldest of 5 daughters, but has 2 older brothers. Charlotte grew up very conservative and has remained like that even in Britain, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know how to have a good time. She also prefers to be called 'Charlie' instead of Charlotte because she thinks Charlotte is too 'fancy'. She has a very strong southern accent and all her friends tease her about it, since they are Brits. She is the only witch in all of her family.

Yes, Charlotte is a muggleborn and it was a miracle she got accepted to Hogwarts at all. Since America is a fairly new country, (At least in the magical community) not that many witches and wizards reside in North America (except the Native Americans but their magic is a totally different story.) This is why there is no school in the US that teaches magic. When a particularly good witch or wizard is born to muggles, Dumbledore invites them to Hogwarts to train them or it could be a problem if they get older and their magic gets out of control, and they don't even know magic exists. So this is how Charlotte ended up at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And this is where she met Alyssa Grace Swanson, the best friend she has ever had.

And also the most infuriating person in the world! Charlie was super pissed at her. She was so mad she wanted to throw something at Aly. How could she do this to her? They were best friends. You're not supposed to worry your friend so much they almost rip all of their hair out. Yes, Charlie was about to strangle Alyssa because she was THAT mad. But beyond all of her anger towards her friend, Charlotte was terrified.

Charlie remembered the very first day they met. It was on the train to Hogwarts and Charlie knew no one and found a compartment to sit in alone. She usually was not shy but she was an 11 year old who just found out she was a witch and was thrust into a world she never knew existed, and all by herself. How would you have felt? She planned on trying to sink into the train seats and pretend she was invisible but Alyssa Grace Swanson planned differently. Once she had found the small girl with curly, golden blond hair, she refused to leave until she knew her name and made her laugh. And Alyssa has made Charlie laugh almost every day since then. They were instant friends.

Aly was such a vibrant person. She was lively and kind to everyone, even Draco Malfoy (which none of her friends ever understood). She would always make the excluded ones feel welcome, the shy ones feel exciting, and the nervous ones feel bold. She certainly changed Charlie for the better. Alyssa was truly a beautiful person, inside and out. At least she was until that night 4 years ago in their sixth year. That truly ruined her heart. Aly was the type of person to always wear her heart on her sleeve and was open and honest, but far from perfect. And she had fallen deeply in love with Harry Potter and everyone thought they were perfect. Charlie was the first to say they would last forever, but unfortunately, Alyssa wasn't enough for him. He broke, no shattered, her heart and it was unfixable. At least that is what Alyssa thought.

But Charlie had another idea in mind. And she was about to set that idea in motion.

* * *

"ALYSSA! OPEN THIS DOOR!" Charlie yelled banging her fist on the door. "Now!" Charlie was going to make her friend enjoy herself for a day even if it was the last thing she would ever do. Alyssa was going to have a damn good time! "I have a wand and I'm not afraid to use it!" Charlie threatened. Still no answer. "Damn it. Ok, Aly, you leave me no choice. Alohamora." The door swung open. Charlie rolled her eyes. A simple locking charm would not hold back the wrath of Charlotte Mae Turner. Her eyes surveyed the living room which for a hermit like Alyssa was very nice and clean. Alyssa must have used a good bit of money to buy the apartment in the French village.

Charlie proceeded down the hallway into the bedroom. In contrast to the appearance of the rest of the apartment, the bedroom was a mess. Clothing all over the floor, take out boxes, scattered here and there, the bed unmade with wrinkled sheets. It was filthy! And huddled in a corner on the floor was Charlie's best friend, with fresh bruises and scratches, tear-streaked cheeks, and she was wearing _his_ sweatshirt, again. Charlie sighed. She crouched down to be eye level with her friend. "Oh Aly, why do you let this happen? It's going to kill you." Alyssa didn't respond just stared straight ahead. Charlie sighed again. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." She said pulling Alyssa up with her and towards the bathroom. This got her friends attention.

"Where are we going?" she asked. Charlotte thought for a moment.

"We are going to London and I am going to make sure you have fun. So don't even try to worm you're way out of this one. You are going. Now I'll leave you to it." Charlie said as she shut the door to the bathroom and gave her friend some privacy. She went to the closet and picked out some nice, _clean_, clothes and laid them on the bed. She then left the room and sat on the couch and watched TV, until Aly was done with her shower. When Alyssa came out of the bedroom and into the light, Charlie got a full view of her face and gasped. Alyssa had 3 long scratches on her left cheek and a gash in her forehead. Her right eye had a nasty blue-purple bruise forming. Thank goodness it was winter and Alyssa was wearing a turtle neck and jeans so the rest of her body was hidden. Charlotte didn't want to see the rest of the damage. It would be too painful. Charlie knew that if this happened two years ago, Aly wouldn't want to go out, but Aly was way past the point of caring about herself.

"You all ready?" Charlie asked as she stood from the couch. She got a nod in response. "I thought we would floo to my apartment and then shop around Diagon Alley. Then we could have lunch at the Leaky." All she got was another nod. "Look are you even gonna bother trying to talk to me?" Charlie asked, irritated. Alyssa looked straight into her eyes.

"What is there for me to say?" Alyssa asked in a dead voice. Charlie was speechless. She turned to the fireplace and stepped into the green flames. She pondered Alyssa's question and she honestly could not think of an answer. Sometimes she felt as if she didn't know Aly anymore. She was just a mere shell of the person she used to be. And that scared Charlie. She lost so many friends in the War; she didn't need to lose her best friend too. But Charlie often found herself wondering if Alyssa was already lost forever.

* * *

The pair stepped out of the fireplace into Charlie's flat. She shared it with her boyfriend of 3 years, Ethan Callaway. He was a wizard as well but he was two years older than the girls. He worked as a healer. The apartment was small but very homey and warm. Charlie decorated it with her southern charm. They walked out the front door and down into the busy streets of Diagon Alley (Charlie lived directly above the new ice cream shop). The pair window shopped, and tried on clothing, and just enjoyed themselves. Well, Charlie did anyway, but she could have sworn she saw Aly smiling a few times.

"Whoo! I am starving! How about we stop by the Leaky Cauldron and get some food?" Charlie asked Alyssa as they walked out of a modern witch clothing store. Alyssa shrugged.

"Ok." Charlie linked her arm through Alyssa's and attempted to skip down the cobblestone streets like they used too but Aly didn't even try to enjoy it. Charlie gave up and they walked to the diner in silence.

"Oh, Charlotte! How wonderful it is to see you. How are you?" Madame Hayworth, the lady who helped Tom run the place, exclaimed as the two walked in the front door. Madame Hayworth began working there about three years ago and the old diner was a lot cleaner now. It also wasn't so dark and drafty anymore. Charlotte supposed it was a woman's touch.

"Hey, Madame Hayworth! I'm doing great. How are you?" Charlotte asked politely back.

"Oh I am quite wonderful. Been very busy around here lately but business is always good thing right?" She let out a laugh. "Oh and is that you Alyssa, dear? I haven't seen you in quite some time, about 3 or 4 months I believe. How have you been?" Madame Hayworth asked, eying Alyssa's scratches and bruises suspiciously. She has seen them many times in the past when Alyssa has come with Charlie before. She had grown accustomed to them a while back so she didn't ask questions anymore.

"Oh. I'm ok I guess." Alyssa replied in a dead voice. In fact, she was not ok. She was never ok anymore but nothing could change that. Her life was over.

"Oh if you are sure." Madame Hayworth replied worriedly. "Well what can I get you girls?" She asked the uncomfortable moment passing quickly.

"Oh surprise us. You could serve me a cow's tongue and I'd eat it I'm so hungry!" Charlie replied and they proceeded to the middle of the restaurant to sit down.

"Charlie is that you?" a woman's voice asked from a table they passed as the girls looked for an empty seat. Charlie and Alyssa turned around to find the person the voice matched. _Oh no_…. Alyssa thought. She could recognize that bushy hair anywhere.

"Hermione!" Charlotte exclaimed and rushed to give the girl a hug. "I haven't seen you in weeks." Charlie said as she released from the hug. She and Hermione worked in the same branch of work at the ministry: the law firm.

"Oh yes. I know loads of casework. I've been so busy. But you have been too." The brunette replied. "I hear you landed the Zabini divorce case. That should be exhausting. Who would have thought purebloods will divorce?"

"Oh trust me it is. I've never seen a couple yell at each other more. And I witnessed almost all of Ron's and your fights." Charlie smirked. "And that's saying something isn't it, Ron." She said turning her attention to the tall red head. Alyssa hadn't even notice he was here. She was too shocked by Hermione. _I mean what are the odds? Running into his two best friends._

"Hey! We weren't together then so it doesn't count." Ron defended himself. After all, it was mainly his idiocy that caused the fights.

"Whatever you say, dear." Hermione said and the girls giggled while Ron Hmphed. "Oh how rude of me, why don't you and your friend join us for lunch?" She asked Charlie.

"Oh we really couldn't. We—"she was cut off.

"Oh I insist. We've just now ordered." She said and gestured to the seats. Alyssa sighed and nodded. The two sat down. "Hello, my name's Hermione Weasley. This is my husband Ron. What's your name?" Hermione asked, her eyes gazing over Alyssa's injuries and widening slightly. Alyssa's breath caught in her throat. What to do?

"Oh she's… she's… she's…" Charlie stuttered trying to save her friend.

"Charlie, its fine. I have to come clean at some point. This is as good a time as any." Alyssa whispered to her friend softly. She knew she shouldn't hide forever. She took a deep breath. "It's me. Alyssa. Alyssa Swanson." She murmured softly. Her former friends' eyes both widened in realization as they studied her face and recognized the Aly they use to know, behind the bruise. And then Hermione had jumped across the table to hug Alyssa. She winced from the impact but smiled at her old friend's enthusiasm.

"Oh Alyssa! I've been so worried about you! I haven't heard from you in four years! I didn't know if you survived the war!" Hermione sobbed into the fragile girl's shoulder. It made Alyssa feel good to know her friends did still care about her. Ron walked around the side of the table to get a better look.

"Blimey, Aly, it is you." He said and leaned down to give her a hug. Alyssa tried to hug him back but Hermione was smothering her. Ron seemed to notice. "Come on, love. Let her breathe." He said and pulled his wife back over to her seat.

"Thanks, Ron." Alyssa replied in her soft whisper.

"Anytime." Ron smirked but his eyes caught the bruise again and he frowned.

"Oh Aly, what's happened to you?" Hermione asked softly. At first, Alyssa thought she meant her hair so she answered,

"Oh. I just needed change so I charmed my hair blonde and cut it into a bob. Looks a lot different, right?" Alyssa used to have long black hair went down to the small of her back. After the war she didn't want to look the same at all so she found a charm for hair coloring and totally changed her wardrobe. She also lost a lot of weight. She was slender before but now she was rail thin and unhealthy looking but that wasn't intentional. She just never ate anymore. The only thing that she kept the same about her was her eyes. Fore Alyssa was not extremely beautiful. She was rather plain looking but _he_ had always told her that eyes were the most strikingly beautiful feature about her. She couldn't bear to get rid of them.

"Well, yes you do look different but that's not what I meant." Hermione stated. Alyssa's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh. Uh…" She looked to Charlie for help but she just shrugged. Charlie didn't want her to lie about it. She figured the more people that knew, the more people there were to get the real Alyssa back. "Umm, I uh… fell… down the stairs… yeah. That's what happened." Alyssa stuttered out quickly. "You remember that I am a klutz." She giggled nervously.

"Why didn't you go to St. Mungos?" the brunette asked suspiciously.

"I hate hospitals… yeah. It will heal eventually." Alyssa replied, still nervous.

"But then—"Hermione started, but Ron interrupted her with a warning glance that said, 'Shut up, now. Just let it go.' "Ugh… Ok."

Alyssa sighed in relief. She really didn't feel like explaining the person she became. Even she was ashamed. An awkward silence filled the air after that. The four just stared at each other. And when the food came to their table, they all just ate quietly. Alyssa shifted her eyes often, just trying to find anything to look at except Hermione intense gaze. She had not taken her eyes off Alyssa since she found out it as her. It was like she was afraid she would vanish into thin air, right before her eyes.

"Well, this has been awkward enough. I think Alyssa and I should be getting home. She does live in France you know." Charlie stated after everyone finished their meal.

"Oh, really what's your hurry? You could come back to our house for a spot of tea. It will be—"

A voice cut her off. "Oh mind if I join you?" A voice all too familiar to Alyssa. A voice that often haunted her dreams.

_Harry. _

"Oh, hello Harry. What have you been up to?" Hermione replied rapidly her eyes shifting to Alyssa. Alyssa didn't notice. She was having a mini heart attack.

"Oh you know. Just busy planning the wedding. I can't believe it's only a few months away. Ginny is so excited and so am I. It's going to be everything I've ever dreamed of." He stated in awe, his emerald eyes gleaming in happiness. Hermione only nodded and Ron stared at Harry and Alyssa, his gaze shifting back and forth, too shocked to say anything. "Charlie, is that you? I haven't seen you in a few months. How have you been?" he asked, pulling up a chair.

"Oh you know. Good I guess. You?" Charlie replied nervously. Her eyes locked with Alyssa, her eyes screaming 'We need to get out!'

"Brilliant! Thank you. And who is your friend?" Harry asked politely, his eyes landing on Alyssa.

She doesn't know what overpowered her to talk, but she suddenly had the will to speak. "You honestly don't recognize me. Of all people I thought you would." She said softly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She thought that he would remember.

"Umm, sorry but no." he said, in an apologetic tone. Charlie put her hand on Alyssa's in support. She wanted to let her know that she didn't have to say anything else if she didn't want too, but Charlie was too shocked about the situation.

Alyssa looked down and cleared her throat. She suddenly had the nerve to say who she was. It angered her that he didn't recognize her. They were in love at some point. Or at least Alyssa thought they were. "I'm-." She started but she was interrupted when a long, silvery snake appeared. Harry was the first to pull out his wand because it looked real but he realized it was just a patronus.

And a very sinister one at that. The silvery snake wound its way up Alyssa's body in a coil. It hissed into her ear in a cold voice. "I need you. Come now." It commanded. The snake then launched itself into the air like it was about to attack and vanished. Alyssa's eyes widened and she quickly pushed back out of her chair, and made her way towards the door. Charlie quickly followed. The golden trio did not like where this was going.

"ALYSSA! Come back right now! You can't go back to him." Charlie yelled and grabbed her hand to pull her back. Harry's eyebrows furrowed. _Alyssa…? _

"You don't understand. I have to go." Alyssa said pulling her hand out of Charlie's.

"I do too understand. You have lost all respect for yourself. You just don't care about anything anymore. And that scares me." Charlie said, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"But I have to go. I just… I'll see you later." Alyssa replied walking towards the door.

"Don't you walk away from me, Alyssa Grace Swanson! I'm not done with you yet!" Charlie shouted. _Oh my god…. It can't be._ Harry thought. _I mean it doesn't even look like Alyssa. No I must have heard wrong or it is a different Alyssa._ Harry tried to convince himself. _Yeah, that's it. _"Aly, can't you see what this is doing to you? It's destroying you! You're not the Alyssa I know and love. You're just an empty shell of who you use to be!" the broken hearted best friend sobbed. "But that's not the worst of it. No, the worst of it is I could deal with that if that is all that would happen. But I'm worried because of what he is doing to you physically! I'm terrified because every bruise and scar, he gets more violent! And one day he is going to go too far! He's killing you, Alyssa! And you don't even care." Charlie finished, crying harder now than ever before.

Alyssa looked up from the floor for the first time since the patronus arrived and gazed at her sobbing friend. "Don't you remember? He saved me. You must remember that night." She spoke to her friend. Charlotte shuddered. She really didn't want to remember that night. Alyssa glanced to the boy who still held her heart. Grey eyes locked with emerald ones. Harry's eyes widened. He finally remembered the smokey silver eyes that he had loved for so long. _It is her._ "He's the only reason that I'm still here. If it wasn't for him, I would have been gone a long time ago. And on my own accord." Alyssa sighed removing her eyes from the shocked ones of her former lover, back to her best friend. "Don't you see that I need him? And he needs me just as much or he wouldn't do what he does. And I know you might not see it but I love him. Not the way that you love Ethan. But I do love him. And I know he loves me too. I'm sorry but I must go." She let go of her friend's hand and turned back to the entrance. The entire restaurant watching as she did so.

"Please. I'm begging you don't go." Charlie whispered, pleading one last minute attempt to keep her friend from going to her impending doom. Alyssa shook her head.

"I'm sorry. But I can't. I'll talk to you soon." Alyssa spoke to her friend, as her eyes gazed back over the room. They lingered on Harry for a moment too long and then she was gone. Charlotte rushed out behind her but the loud crack of apparition resounded through the silent diner. Alyssa Swanson was gone, leaving three very confused and worried, young adults, behind. Charlie pushed back through the doors and let out a defeated sigh. She dragged her feet back to the table and slumped into her seat.

"Well, that was interesting…" Ron mused, breaking the awkward silence. His comment must have upset Charlie because she burst into a fit of loud sobs. Harry stared at the sobbing girl in bewilderment (He was never good with crying girls) while Hermione glared at her husband. "Was it something I said?" Ron asked, dumbly. He received a hard slap on the arm from his wife in response. "Ow. What was that for?" Hermione just rolled her eyes and went to sit by Charlie. She put a comforting arm around the girl.

"Charlie? Are you ok? What's going on?" Hermione asked softly. The girl still cried into the table. "Come on. Maybe if you talk about it, we can help you." Charlie still didn't lift her head off the table but her sobbing lessened. "This is obviously a heavy burden that only you are carrying. We can help take some of it off by helping you." Hermione encouraged.

Charlie finally looked up and sniffled. "Oh, you guys, I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't lose her! She's my best friend! And if she keeps this up, she'll be gone before her next birthday!" The girl started sobbing again, into Hermione's shoulder.

"Shh, Shh. Everything will be ok." Hermione soothed. "What is Alyssa doing? Who is she visiting?"

"Yeah, who's patronus was that?" Ron asked, genuinely curious. Charlie looked back up at the three best friends who all leaned forward anxiously, awaiting to hear the answer. A little part of Harry thought Charlie was overreacting. _I mean Alyssa is smart. She wouldn't get involved with anyone too bad. And most of the dark wizards have gone into hiding since the fall of Voldemort._

"Draco Malfoy." Charlie whispered through her tears.

Author's Note: OOoooOOoo…. Suspense! Haha. Well I decided to upload this chapter as a Christmas gift to those who want to read it! Merry Christmas, everyone!

~~Loren


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I am not blonde nor am I British so obviously the world of Harry Potter and Co. is not mine. Unfortunately.

Chapter 2-

Her body seemed as if it was be compressed through a small tube and she was being thrown through the air. Her feet hit the floor hard and Alyssa found herself standing in front of a small and secluded, but extravagant, cottage. She had stood in this very same spot far more than once. In fact she often wondered if she should just move there, for she spent more time at this apartment than her own. However, Alyssa could never bring herself to move there. It had a certain cold factor. But that was understandable considering what happened to her every time she entered the building.

Alyssa took a deep breath and let herself in after all, she knew she was expected. Even though she had been there so many times, she gave an involuntary shudder as she crossed the threshold. In truth, she didn't exactly know why she still came back to him. Alyssa knew he was changing her, and for the worse but she couldn't bring herself to walk away from and seek help. It was like a drug and she kept coming back for more. It was a need Alyssa couldn't refuse and she didn't know if she ever could.

The cottage was dark and somewhat sinister looking, just like its owner. Well, what the owner appeared to be to the rest of the world. Alyssa knew differently. She knew Draco had a cold exterior. He could be vile and cruel and that's what he chose to be towards society. But Alyssa had seen his soul. He had a good heart somewhere in there. She had broken through the cold facade on more than one occasion. Once, halfway through sixth year when she comforted him during his 'destiny' with the dark lord. Once again when he saved her from herself and a final time when he had broke down in front of her when he called and he apologized for what he kept doing to her and told her to never come see him again. She convinced him otherwise. Alyssa supposes that's why she returns to him.

She climbed the dark staircase and approached the bedroom on the left. She pushed open the door. The room was dark but she knew he was there, as he always was. "Drake…." She whispered softly. She walked further into the room. The door slammed behind her and she whipped around, startled. She found him sitting in an armchair in a dimly lit corner, his wand outstretched in his right hand and a glass of wine in the other.

"You're late." He drawled softly. She looked at him. "You were supposed to be here at two. It is almost four. I sent my patronus at 3:30. Where have you been?" He asked as he looked into his glass, swirling it around a little as if it might contain poison.

"I was out with Charlie. She made me accompany her to Diagon Alley for shopping and lunch. We got a little- uh- sidetracked." She answered him.

"How so?" He asked.

Alyssa contemplated how to answer him. If she told him the truth, she knew it would upset him, but if she lied, it would be far worse. He always knew if she was lying to him and that made him angry. "We ran into some of Charlie's friends." It wasn't a complete lie. They were Charlie's friends. They were just hers as well. From the past, at least.

"Do I know them?" Draco asked, as he sipped his glass.

"I suppose so." Alyssa answered, not meeting his gaze. She didn't want to tell him the whole story. Draco might no longer be a death eater but he was still a Malfoy and some things never changed.

Draco stared at her hard for a moment. Alyssa's eyes shifted from different spots in the room. Draco stood up and walked close to her. "There is something you are hiding from me. Something you don't wish me to know." He whispered lowly, almost a purr. He reached up and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. "What is it?"

Alyssa finally locked eyes with him. His light grey eyes bore into her dark ones. She could smell the wine on his lips. He was drunk. She knew she could no longer put it off. "Ron and Hermione Weasley." She mumbled softly. Draco's eyes hardened. He turned from her.

"Ahhh. The weasel and his new mudblood wife. An expansion in their family. I wonder how they still fit in that one room of theirs." He said menacingly.

"Don't talk about them that way." Alyssa said before she could stop herself. Draco whipped around and narrowed his eyes.

"Why? Do you actually _care_ for those people?" He hissed at her. Alyssa just looked at the floor. "You _do._ You actually care about their feelings even after they deserted you. Only I remained. Even your _precious_ friend Charlotte wasn't there for you that night. Only I." Alyssa still didn't respond but she stared threateningly into his eyes. He crossed a line. "You're such a stupid girl. That is what you are and always will be." He said.

"No I am not. You are the stupid boy. You hold grudges and you have no real friends." She shot back at him. Draco eyes blazed, but he feigned forgiveness.

"I'm sorry. You are right. Anything else?"

Alyssa had a sudden burst of anger and confidence. "Actually, yes. Harry Potter was with them as well. I told him hello and we're meeting up next week for a cup of tea." She said in a mocking tone.

Draco's eyes flashed dangerously and an evil grin spread across his face. "Oh is that true? What does his beloved fiancée say about this? Or does she not know? That you wish so desperately to be his whore? That you wish it was you he was fucking every night? Because you are so hung up on him that you never let go of that stupid teenage love he told you was real. He never loved you. He wanted you for a while but as soon as a new piece of arse was available, he left you." Draco said in a hurtful tone. Alyssa's breath caught in her throat she wanted so badly to retaliate, but what could she say? Draco was telling the truth. "I bet you told him your entire story. Expected that he would come and rescue you like the Goddamn fucking savior he is, did you?" Draco shouted at her. He threw his wine glass at the wall and it shattered. "Well guess what he doesn't care about you! No one does! Because you're a little slut who will never amount to anything. All you will ever be is my whore." He said as he pushed her up against a wall.

She didn't bother crying. No one was there to wipe her tears away. Even if there was, who would care to?

* * *

"She is going to see _who_?" Harry asked. He must not have heard correctly. There is no way Alyssa would continue to be with friends with someone like him after the war. "I must have heard wrong. I thought you said Draco Malfoy."

"I wish you had heard me wrong but it is true. Draco Malfoy is the one who sent the patronus." Charlie said with a sigh. Harry sat back and blinked hard. No way. There is just no possible way.

"But, her brother despises him! Darren would never let Alyssa have a deep relationship with Malfoy." Ron said, trying to convince himself more than Charlie.

Charlie glanced up at the trio, as her eyes filled with fresh tears. "You didn't read the papers after the war, did you?"

The three glanced at each other. They hadn't. Mrs. Weasley had insisted they stay away from the public for the months after the war because she wanted them to stay away from the sadness of the obituaries in the Daily Prophet. She didn't want them to sink into a deep depression like she knew Harry would if he saw all the casualties. All they did was attend one memorial service that honored everyone who was killed in the battle. No names or numbers mentioned.

Charlie apparently guessed their answer and took a deep breath. "Mr. Swanson went into hiding as soon as the war began, he was muggleborn after all. He was murdered by the Snatchers around January of that year." Hermione gasped. Charlie continued, "Her mother fell very ill after that. Alyssa suspects it was the heart break but she died about a month later." Charlie said as new tears trickled down her cheeks. Hermione buried her face into Ron's shoulder. Harry just looked shocked, like he never thought about that happening. "Alyssa and Darren continued to live on. Darren told her to be strong for their parents. Be strong so this war would end, and in our favor. Darren was Alyssa's support system. He took care of her and provided all that he could for her even though he couldn't go out much. Aly told me that was what kept her going. She was strong for her brother because she knew he needed her to be." Charlie continued sobbing.

"But then word that the final battle was happening at Hogwarts spread and Darren found out. He apparated to Hogesmeade to help after he ordered Alyssa to stay at their house behind the shields but when does she ever listen? Aly told me that the next minutes were a blur. She was in the middle of battle as soon as she passed the gates." Hermione was shaking uncontrollably as her husband rubbed her back soothingly, but he was as white as a sheet. "Alyssa tripped while trying to get away from a death eater. He put the cruciatus curse on her. She says that was the third most painful event of the night."

A dreadful feeling settled into Harry's stomach. _There were more painful things?_

"Alyssa tried to stupefy him once the pain had subsided but she was on the ground and the death eater dodged it easily. She supposes he didn't want to waste any more time on her. She remembers him yelling the killing curse." Charlie's voice wavered but she continued on. Harry was muttering 'no' over and over again. "Alyssa said she just closed her eyes and waited, but her death never came. Darren had witnessed the death eater and her battle and raced to her safety. He threw his body over hers just in the nick of time."

They all lost it at the moment. Even Ron and Harry were shedding a few tears. Hermione couldn't imagine anything more horrible. Charlie had known the whole story for about 3 years and it still hadn't gotten any easier. Harry and Ron were both wondering why they hadn't been there.

"She says she can barely recall the rest. She remembers seeing Harry in Hagrid's arms, then Harry disappearing under his invisibility cloak, then Voldemort being destroyed. She didn't linger around the Great Hall. She went to find Darren's body and apparated both of them back to their house. When I came back to England two weeks later, I found her huddled in a corner, staring at the bed where Darren was laying. I helped her bury him in her family cemetery. She told me later she just couldn't bear to bury him. She didn't say a word for almost a month. She didn't even tell me the whole story until a year after the war. She only sat staring out a window. She was like a ghost, but they are louder than she was. It was completely awful." Charlie shuddered at the memory.

Harry was at a loss for words. He couldn't imagine this happening to a person like Alyssa. She was such a genuine person.

"But she got better, right?" Harry asked hopefully even though he feared he already knew the answer. Charlie looked at him resentfully. She blamed him for part of it anyways.

"No. That's when the nightmares set in. I stayed with her some nights and I could hear her screaming all night. Every morning, she would have deep blue circles under her eyes." Charlie took a deep breath. Here comes the hard part. "But the worst of it came about 2 years ago. Alyssa became angry. Like tremendously angry. I would come in to find shattered glass all over the floor from vases and pictures. She would yell and cuss. I never would have believed that kind of words would come out of her mouth. But she would cry too at the same time. And one day I came in to see her burning all of her photos, muggle and magical. I tried to stop her but she screamed at me, told me that memories meant nothing to her anymore that she just wanted to escape the pain. Later I realized that was the same day you and Ginny announced your engagement."

Harry's stomach dropped. He didn't know if he wanted to hear anymore. But Charlie went on.

"However, as quickly as the fits of anger came, they left. She seemed to become more normal then. Aly started to talk and sometimes even laugh. She also ate more. I stopped coming by as much. I thought she was getting better. I should've noticed though that her shirts were still very baggy and that her eyes still looked bruised. And maybe I should have noticed how she only wore long sleeves." Charlie said as the tears returned. Hermione gasped at the last statement. Ron and Harry looked confused. They didn't understand what could be so bad if Alyssa began talking and eating again. But Hermione knew. Her cousin had the same problem.

"No. No way. Please tell me she didn't?" Hermione begged, her eyes watering.

"Wait, what happened?" Ron asked, his eyes shining with concern and confusion. Charlie took a deep breath and continued.

"I had just flooed into my apartment and had started dinner for Ethan and myself, when his head came through the fire. He was all in a panic and his words were rushed but I understood the gist. It was something along the lines of 'St. Mungos. Alyssa. Wrong.' I freaked out and apparated to St. Mungos where Ethan was waiting on me."

All 3 of the listeners stopped breathing. They knew no good could come of this.

"I'm not sure which room or level he took me to because I was in hysterics. She's my best friend and I couldn't lose her. We went into a secluded room and there she was. She was unconscious and I could really see how thin she was in her hospital gown. I also noticed there were bandages around her wrist and I could see the blood coming through." Charlotte couldn't control her sobs. "I also saw rope imprints around her neck. She was the whitest I'd ever seen. At first I thought she was dead but I was relieved to see her chest moving."

"She tried to KILL HERSELF?" Harry exclaimed, standing up. He was outraged. "Was she insane?"

"Now you don't go acting like you care!" Charlie yelled back. "You are part of the problem!"

"Me? How could this be my fault?" Harry asked, incredulously.

"Because she loved you! Hell, she still loves you! I don't know why but she could never get over you even though you deserted her!" Charlie spat back venomously.

Harry was about to retort but Hermione interrupted him. "Harry, calm down. Charlie is right but this is not the time for this conversation." Hermione said placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry sighed and sat back down. Charlie eyed him evilly. "Now Charlie, what happened after that?"

Charlie recomposed herself. "That was when I noticed she wasn't alone in the room. There was certain platinum blonde, sitting next to her, holding her hand."

"NO!" Ron gasped.

"Yes. Draco Malfoy was the one who found Alyssa in her apartment. I never knew before but they had maintained their friendship from school. Crazy right?" Charlie responded.

"Wait, how would Draco know she was in there?" Hermione asked.

"It turns out he lived relatively close and would come check in on her from time to time. Luckily he came that time. I may think he is a slime ball, but I'm forever grateful to him for saving my best friend. The healer in charge of her case said she also had twice the legal amount of alcohol in her blood. My guess is since she knew I was working that day she let herself lose control. She got drunk and destroyed everything from her past. Then she just felt she wasn't worth anything anymore." Charlie cried.

There was a silence among the group as they thought over what they just heard. It was shocking to hear that the strongest girl they'd ever known was shattered. However, Harry wanted to know the rest.

"But if Malfoy was the one who saved her, why was it such a bad thing for her to go to him?" He asked. Harry despised Malfoy, always had, and always will but if he saved Alyssa, Harry will always be thankful to him too.

Charlie looked down as she thought of the best way to answer Harry's question. She figured out there wasn't one. "He….. abuses their relationship." Charlie really didn't want to go into further detail than that. But Ron being Ron didn't take the hint.

"And how's that?" Charlie decided there was no way around it; she would have to tell them. Everything.

"He (sighs) uses her to take out his….. frustration. ALL of his frustrations. I would call it rape but Alyssa is the one who always goes back to him." Charlie sighed. The group went through a hard silence. The trio was trying to soak in what Charlie had told them. None of them could quite understand how the girl they knew as Alyssa Swanson, could become the Alyssa in Charlie's stories.

Harry gathered up the courage to ask the next question. "But…. Why?" Charlie glanced at him sadly.

"I really wish I could say that I knew. All she ever tells me is, "I need him just as much as he needs me." I don't know what that means but she has sure stuck by it. No matter what we're doing, as soon as he calls, she rushes to him. It is how it has been ever since she woke up in the hospital."

"What happened after she woke up? What did she say about the situation?" Hermione asked, afraid to say the word 'suicide'.

"Well, we never really talked about it. I mean I tried to, but, if I ever brought it up all she would say is, 'It's okay. Draco saved me. Don't worry about it.' I really don't know what she means but he is keeping her alive. She eats regularly now. Still not as much as she probably should but enough to keep well nourished. But it's really like she's not even there now. It's almost like she did succeed with her plan that night." Charlie sighed.

The group fell into a dead silence; all four of them overcome with emotion. Hermione and Ron were felt that they had abandoned a friend who was like a sister, and Harry was completely distraught. He felt responsible for all of this. He wanted to fix it but he didn't know how.

He hardly remembered the night sixth year. It was like he was in a daze. He knew for a long time he had feelings for Ginny but he loved Alyssa as well. Harry never thought his feelings for Ginny would ignite the way they did. He didn't mean to string Aly along. As soon as he climbed through that portrait hole, and laid eyes on the redheaded beauty, she was all he could think about. He was pulled towards her like gravity and Harry could never leave her again.

Harry felt awful now because he realized he never gave much thought to Alyssa after that. He believed that she was a strong girl who could take care of herself. He thought she would move on and find someone better. Hell, he believed she would have to fend off the guys. Alyssa was very beautiful in Harry's eyes and such a genuine person. And her smile drove him wild. Or it _used _to.

Harry smiled to himself as he thought of the girl used to know, but then he shook his head sadly. He knew that girl was gone, but he'd do anything to get her back.

Ron seemed to have the same idea.

"Charlie, we have to do something! I _need_ to do something! She was like a sister to me. I can't believe I let her suffer this long!" Ron exclaimed, pounding his fist on the table.

Charlie looked at him sadly. "I don't what else there is to do. I've tried everything. She just won't budge."

"I can't believe I let this happen. This is all my fault." Harry mumbled, his head in his hands. Charlie looked at him, resigned. She sighed. She really wanted to blame him but she knew it wasn't his entire fault.

"Harry, do not blame yourself for this. You might have sparked the fuse on the bomb, but life ignited the fuse and Alyssa chose the chain reaction. You didn't know life would be unfair to Alyssa and that she wasn't strong enough to deal with it all. She used to be the strongest girl we knew. I had no idea it would ever go this far." Harry nodded his head but was very doubtful. He should have handled he heart with better care. "Believe me, Harry. I went for awhile hating your guts. I wanted to stupefy you into next week, but Alyssa never felt that way. She gave you the benefit of the doubt and wanted you to be happy. She does not hate you and I know she never will." Charlie finished.

"So our Alyssa is completely gone?" Hermione asked softly. Her eyes were red and her makeup was smudgy. Charlie nodded and looked down. She was crying again. But all of sudden her head snapped up.

"The music has left her. Her song has been sung." Harry concluded. He sighed dejectedly.

Charlie's head snapped up at Harry's statement. "Wait, Maybe not." She said more to herself than to her three friends. "Guys, I have an idea."

The trio gaped at her.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I am not blonde nor am I British so obviously the world of Harry Potter and Co. is not mine. Unfortunately.

Author's Note: I will go ahead and apologize for any editing failures. I wrote this pretty quick. Enjoy!

* * *

Alyssa's eyes snapped open. The room was dark, no light streamed through the window. She looked at the clock on the wall. 3:58 a.m. Aly sighed. She knew she needed to get up and go home before he woke up. She really didn't want to face him after what happened yesterday. She knew Draco would be upset with himself. Alyssa knew he hadn't meant a word of what he said and he would beat himself up for it. Alyssa couldn't handle that right now.

She slipped out of the bed quietly. Draco gave a slight groan and rolled over, but did not wake up. She grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom. She closed and locked the door, and then Alyssa got a good look of herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked haunted and her cheeks were shallow, but only one new bruise. Alyssa sighed again and hopped into the shower.

When she emerged from the bathroom fully clothed and clean, she felt much better. It was short lived though, due to fact that a certain platinum blonde was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had pulled green satin pajama pants on and his head was in his hands. Alyssa made her way over to sit next to him. He didn't say anything, so Alyssa did.

"Draco… Look at me." She gently lifted his head so he looked into her concerned eyes. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Her heart broke a little more.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered softly, looking back towards the floor.

"For what?" she responded. He sat up straight and turned to face her.

"For doing this to you. Over and over again. And for speaking to you like your rubbish." He cried out softly.

"Draco I—"Alyssa started but was interrupted.

"No, please don't say anything. You're not a whore. You are beautiful and smart and you don't deserve what I do to you." He told her for the millionth time. Alyssa rolled her eyes at his attempt. If he thought she would be accepting his apology, he was tragically mistaken.

Alyssa had grown up with Draco. Their mothers were best friends in school and even though they had chosen different paths after graduating (Alyssa's mom choosing a muggleborn and the Order of the Phoenix while Draco's mother chose a pureblood and the Deatheaters.), they still remained close friends. Their mothers set them up on many play dates. Alyssa and Draco were childhood best friends, their mothers joking about them growing up and falling in love. They, as children, complained about how 'gross' that was and how the other had 'cooties'. Alyssa almost smiled at the memory.

Draco continued to be one of her best friends all through their Hogwarts years, even though he was quite the prat to her other friends. When he called Hermione a mudblood, Alyssa didn't speak to him for 2 months after that. There were several other times where she didn't speak to him for long periods of time as well. He never said a harsh word to her though. Charlie, Harry, Ron, and Hermione never understood their bond. Alyssa didn't care though. She didn't ask for them to understand.

Alyssa knew all about Draco's mission sixth year. He told her as soon as it was assigned. He had flooed to her manor at once and cried on her shoulder for hours. Draco was a good person on the inside. He didn't want to kill Dumbledore, or anyone for that matter, no matter how much he hated them. Alyssa first asked why him, why now? Draco answered her question painfully. The Dark Lord was punishing his father for failing to gain the prophecy the previous year. If Draco failed, Voldemort would kill him. And _her. _No, not Alyssa. The muggle girl Draco had fallen in love with. Yes, Draco Lucius Malfoy had fallen in love with a muggle, everything his father and mother disapproved of.

Her name was Ashton Wilson. Draco had met her while shopping with Alyssa in a market in the village outside of the Swanson manor. He had been so intrigued by her he threw away all his beliefs about blood and ranking. He spent every day of that summer at the Swanson manor trying to impress Ashton. When the Dark Lord found out, he threatened to use the cruciatus curse on her then let Greyback tear her limb from limb. And he would make Draco watch. It was the most gruesome, horrible thing Alyssa had ever heard.

Draco swore to Alyssa he would find a way to make things work. Later, Draco asked Alyssa to make sure she took care of herself as well. He knew that if Voldemort found out about Draco's relationship with Alyssa, he would make her suffer. It was a good thing they never told Draco's father about their friendship. It was a very well kept secret. But Draco was still worried about her. He told her he couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. Alyssa promised him.

As the year progressed, she spent most of it in tears. She watched her best friend break in front of her. He cracked under pressure often and broke things, threw stuff, and swore almost every time he opened his mouth. Alyssa could tell he was damaged but the only thing she could do was hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

But it wasn't.

Draco had hated Alyssa when she started dating Harry fourth year. He didn't speak to her for a month. He calmed down though because he missed her too much. He always made snide remarks when he saw the opportunity but he saw that Aly really did love Harry. Draco just wanted Alyssa to be happy.

When Draco found out about the breakup, he almost stormed off to the Gryffindor tower and castrated Harry himself. But when Alyssa begged him not too, and he saw her tear streaked face, he knew she just needed him to be there for her. Just like she had been there for him all year. That didn't stop him from sending a secret bat-bogey hex at Harry one day between classes. They grew even closer after that. Alyssa would speak to Charlie but only when the trio wasn't around. She couldn't bear to see the pity on Hermione and Ron's faces. And Harry ignored her, like she didn't even exist. She and Draco would eat in the kitchens or outside if the day was nice, never the Great Hall. It broke her shattered heart even more but it was the only way she got through the year.

And when Draco failed to kill Dumbledore, and Snape did instead, Voldemort took 'mercy' on Draco. He 'forgave' the Malfoys and didn't torture or rip Ashton to shreds. Alyssa actually didn't know what happened to Ashton. Draco never spoke of it but whatever it was; Aly had a gut feeling it wasn't good. Draco just disappeared. And Alyssa didn't see him again until almost a year after the war, when he got out of Azkaban. He was charged with being a deatheater but only on minor accounts since he never killed or harmed anyone majorly. He was imprisoned because of that damn tattoo.

After he was released, he came straight to find Alyssa. They had embraced each other for a very long time, and told each other everything. He bought an apartment near hers so he could be close to his best friend. He noticed that her eyes didn't shine like they used to and how thin she had gotten. He never mentioned it though and things only got worse.

Alyssa didn't tell Charlie that Draco was visiting her because Charlie despised him. And Alyssa didn't tell either one about her plans. Alyssa didn't want to live anymore. So she wrote notes to all the people she loved the most. Charlotte, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and her most loved one, Harry. She kissed each letter. Then proceeded to place them on the counter and…. Well, you know the rest.

She woke up in St. Mungos. Her wrists were bandaged and she had a mind splitting headache. Draco was holding her hand. She smiled at him even though it came out as a grimace.

Draco enveloped her in a hug. "ALYSSA! Don't ever do that to me again!" She groaned as she was in pain but she felt warmth surround her and she smiled again. "Sorry." He said as he pulled back, realizing he was squashing her. "But Alyssa, how could you even think about killing yourself?"

She shrugged. "I'm worthless. There isn't a point to my life anymore."

"WHAT? Don't you ever say that again! Do you even know what you mean to me? I couldn't live without you!" He told her compassionately. "You're my best friend. You're all I have left. I love you." He whispered staring into her eyes.

"I love you too. Thanks for saving me." She smiled back.

And that was the beginning of their unspoken agreement. They both needed each other to not feel so alone. Charlie thought Alyssa was being used but Alyssa was using Draco just as much. Yes, they loved each other but not that way. Neither one of them could be with the one they really wanted so they used each other for comfort. It wasn't just about sex either. They spent days where they were just best friends, just like they were kids again before things got complicated. But those days didn't happen often. Alyssa hated it but she would do anything for Draco.

"Draco you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I am here for you. I let you do this because I know you need it. One day, you will move on and there is a girl out there who is very lucky. You will meet her and fall in love, get married, and start a family. But until then, I am here for you."

Draco smiled sadly. "But what about you?"

"I'm healing and I get better every day. I'll be okay. I always have been." She replied, even though she wasn't convinced.

* * *

"Charlie, what in the ruddy hell are you on about?" Ron exclaimed in confusion.

After Charlie made her confusing end to their conversation, she had rushed straight out of the Leaky Cauldron and apparated on the spot, leaving her companions sitting at the table completely confounded. The level of confusion only increased when at nine o'clock the following morning, as the two were eating breakfast, an owl arrived at Ron and Hermione's home with a note that said,

_Please come to Ethan's and my flat tomorrow, whenever you get the chance. It is urgent! Oh and bring Harry with you!_

_~Charlie_

The couple rushed about getting ready and flooed straight to Harry and Ginny's flat. He was sitting at the kitchen table reading the Daily Prophet when Hermione grabbed him by the sleeve, pulling him into the fire place. Harry yelled out "Oi! What's the big idea?" but Hermione ignored him and shouted "Charlotte Mae's humble abode!" (Hermione didn't question her friend's title choices. It actually suited Charlie's personality.) When the trio stepped out of the fireplace and dusted themselves off, Charlie rushed into the living room.

"Great! You made it! I have a solution! Well not an exact solution, but it's a start! You'll have to see it first." She shouted, bouncing excitedly.

The trio stared at her with odd expressions.

"Who let Charlie drink coffee?" Harry whispered to the other two. Hermione shrugged her shoulders as Ron made his exclamation. Charlie slapped her forehead.

"Duh! Y'all have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" The three looked at her like she was crazy and shook their heads. "Well come on! Y'all have to see this!" Charlie yelled again as she rushed off into the kitchen, the golden trio trailing behind.

"Charlie, I'm so confused. Can you please tell us your revelation?" Hermione asked her exuberant friend.

Charlie just smiled and nodded. And rushed to her counter before coming back with a stack of parchment and what appeared to be a planner. The three looked at her in confusion. Ron picked up the planner and flipped through it. It was a mini calendar, with dates and times filling the pages.

"A calendar?" he asked. Charlie smiled and nodded. "What does this have to do with anything?" Charlie sighed dramatically. Obviously she would have to explain everything.

"This, you guys, is Alyssa Grace Swanson's calendar. At least her old one. I bought her a new one for her birthday three months ago. She was going to throw it away so I just took it." Hermione looked as if she was about to scold Charlie. "Relax Hermione! She was throwing it away! It wasn't stealing and it helped me find out something very important about Alyssa I'm suspecting none of you knew, considering I didn't know."

"What on earth did you not know about your best friend and that I didn't know about my girl-", Harry paused, catching himself. Charlie ignored his awkward almost statement.

"If you flip through the calendar, you see a lot of times and places written in green. Those are her meetings with Malfoy." The group shuddered as they noticed almost every day was filled with green cursive. "However, you will also notice a lot of blue." The trio looked and did see almost every Wednesday and every weekend, there was an evening time written in blue. "For a long time, I would see her write the times down in the book, but I never asked. But when I got a hold of it three months ago, I noticed she had an occasion that next day. And she had written down the place. I, being curious, went to investigate." Hermione looked appalled but Charlie continued with her story. "It was in muggle London. It was actually a muggle pub. A muggle pub with live entertainment." There were resounding gasps. "Yes. Our Alyssa sings."

"What? No she doesn't! She would refuse every time we ever even mentioned it." Ron said.

"I know that. But I'm telling you, she's a singer. And a good one at that." Charlie concluded with a smile. The trio was still quite confused.

"But, if she is such a great singer, why did she lie to us all those years at school?" Hermione asked. Charlie nodded, understanding her friend's confusion.

"Well, I asked her and-", Charlie began but was interrupted by Ron.

"Wait, you talked to her about it?"

"Well, yes. She saw me when I came in and-" Charlie started again but was interrupted by Harry this time.

"But wait, she actually admitted something to you?"

"Yeah. Surprisingly, she was quite eager to-"

"But wait,-", Ron began again but Hermione hit him on the arm.

"Ron, Harry, shut up and let her finish the story!"

"Thank you, Hermione." Charlie glared at the boys. "Anyways, as I was saying, I went into the pub. Aly was singing already and it was so shocking, I fell into a chair at the nearest table. I have never heard such a raw, pure, emotional, beautiful voice in my life. She was singing with such power and raw feeling. She had the whole room in a trance. Her song was so real and heartbreakingly sad. I never heard anything quite like it before in my life." Charlie said, thoughtfully. "She sang for about two hours after I got there and it was probably the happiest I had seen her in a long time. She sang sad songs, bitter songs, and actually happy songs. I was so confounded by the whole situation; I don't think my mouth closed the entire two hours I was there. After her performance, she came and sat down next to me. It was like meeting her all over again." Charlie concluded.

"What did she say?" Harry asked, anxious to know more.

"She told me everything. She said that after Draco saved her, he convinced her to sing as an outlet. Apparently, she used to sing to him. I was a little hurt when I found out she had confided her secret in the ferret, but after she told me the rest, I understood a little better. She has known him her entire life, after all."

"WHAT?" Harry and Ron both exclaimed.

"Honestly, do you two ever listen? Aly told us countless times whenever Malfoy said something upsetting that she and Draco grew up together. Does anything register in your minds?" Hermione asked, incredulously. Charlie nodded in agreement. Harry glanced at Ron. Ron shrugged.

"Well, I guess we were always so angry at Malfoy, we never comprehended what anyone told us afterwards." Harry mused.

"Yeah, we always had to plot our revenge." Ron said with a smile and an elbow nudge to Harry's ribs. Hermione and Charlie looked at each other and shook their heads. Boys…

"Then she told me she has written songs since she was eleven." Her listeners' eyes widened. "I know right? Who would've thunk? But it kind of made sense. She told me it used to be sporadic, all through school. Whenever something major happened or she had a deep feeling, she would write. But after everything that happened, it was a regular occurrence. It was her escape. Aly said it was a great vent. She had a lot of feelings and memories built up inside and she would write down her heart on the page." Charlie smiled to herself. "She even writes the music part. I knew she played the piano, but I didn't know she was that good. And her guitar skills aren't too bad either. And her songs are so real and powerful. I mean wow."

Hermione then noticed the pile of parchment again. "Charlie, what are these?" she asked, holding up the parchment. Charlie smiled.

"Those, my dear friend, are copies of my favorite songs. Alyssa gave them to me because she knew I liked them so well." She said, taking the songs from Hermione. She began flipping through them, smiling sadly. Then she laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" Ron asked. Charlie glanced at the three.

"Well, as you can probably guess, most of Aly's songs are rather sad. However, some of them are quite funny as well. Well, I think they are funny but you three probably wouldn't." Charlie said looking smug.

"Why wouldn't we find them funny?" Hermione questioned.

"Well, I know Harry wouldn't like any of the songs. Some would make him uncomfortable and the others, the ones I find funny, would make him angry. Most are about him and Ginny." Charlie didn't try to hide her smirk. The group knew she was angry with Harry and that she didn't like Ginny at all. Harry's gaze seemed to be fixed on the floor. He looked kind of green.

"Oh come on. They can't be that bad." Hermione said, taking the parchment from Charlie. Her eyes scanned the words and she tried to suppress a smile. "Okay, they're that bad. Really? 'She took him faster than you could say sabotage'. That's just mean." Hermione attempted to scold, but failed miserably. They boys quickly scrambled to look over Hermione's shoulder to look at the song titled 'Better than Revenge'. Their faces quickly turned red.

"How can she say that? That's my sister!" Ron exclaimed, his ears a nice shade of scarlet.

"Yeah! Ginny is not a whore!" Harry yelled. He looked beyond furious, like he was about to explode. Charlie held her hands up in mock surrender.

"Hey, I didn't write it. This was a song written during Aly's month of rage that I told you about. She's not exactly proud of it. She doesn't even sing it anymore. She does believe every single word though and I can't say I blame her." Charlie reasoned.

"What? How can you even say that? Ginny's perfect!" Harry yelled.

"Oh yeah." Charlie rolled her eyes. "She's a real saint. She didn't steal Aly's boyfriend at all. But don't think I think it was all Ginny's fault. It takes two to tango. You and Ginny had eye sex all the time for two months before you decided you needed to have a make out session in the Gryffindor Common room in front of everyone. You left Alyssa there to just watch!" Charlie yelled at Harry. He slowly sank down into his chair looking upset. Charlie wasn't finished yet.

"And after all this time, she still freaking loves you! You are her main writing inspiration. It is torture on her! Why do you think she goes to see Draco all the time? She thinks she doesn't deserve happiness! The only thing that keeps her sane is writing these songs! Don't you dare say anything about it!" Charlie finished her rampage, huffed, sat down, and folded her arms across her chest. She was beyond pissed.

The group sat around the table in an awkward silence for what seemed like forever. Finally Hermione spoke up. "Charlie, is this all you wanted to show us?"

"No." Charlie spoke harsher than she meant to. She cleared her throat and continued. "Actually, Alyssa is performing tonight and I wanted y'all to come with me. Y'all would be able to see that she's not completely gone. But only if you want to." She said, eyeing Harry carefully.

"We're there." All three said at once.

Charlie looked quite pleased. "Okay. Excellent. Just meet back here at 6:30 and where at hat or something or charm yourselves to look different. Alyssa might freak out if you three show up at a performance without her knowledge." She said, mainly to Harry. The trio nodded and walked to the fireplace.

"See you at 6:30." Hermione said. The boys nodded in agreement before all three stepped into the green flames. Charlie smiled to herself.

"Oh, Charlie. You are so clever." She mumbled to herself. Her plans were just beginning to unfold.

* * *

Author's Note: This chapter shows insight into Alyssa's and Draco's relationship. It's really complicated but they are NOT in love. This is a Harry and OC story. Their relationship will become clearer as the story goes on. Please Review!


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